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Bizarre Review: Dark Tower a new take on a classic novel series

The Dark Tower: A touching tale of a boy who finds approval from a father figure and saves the world.
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The Dark Tower: A touching tale of a boy who finds approval from a father figure and saves the world.

This movie almost deserves two reviews. One from a cinematic side of someone who has never read a Stephen King novel in their life, and another that is well versed in The Dark Tower Series. Which is a seven-part series that would be impossible to fit into one film.

The movie follows a boy who has wild dreams that basically come to life. He is chased down by people who work for “The Man in Black,” who is essentially a wizard. With hopes of destroying a tower that connects multiple universes and protects them from monsters, they rally up a bunch of kids with special powers to blast the tower through some kind of torture device.

Along comes this kid, Jake, and his new buddy he runs into, The Gunslinger, and off they go to fight The Man in Black to ensure he doesn’t destroy the tower, sending all of the worlds into an apocalypse.

The movie is well made, with an onslaught of amazing cinematography. The story is well told, and fairly easy to follow.

That is, if you haven’t read the books.

Of course, pretty much everyone knows the movies are never as good as the books. But this one really threw me for a loop. It’s almost like someone read the Cole’s Notes on the Dark Tower series, and mashed it all together into a two-hour movie that clearly should have been a series.

It looks so easy to jump from portal to portal, giving the movie a really modern sci-fi vibe. The first one Jake encounters, he just conjures up memories from his dreams, punches in a code, destroys a demon with his mind, and it is no big deal. It looked like something out of a kids movie.

It shouldn’t have been that easy. In fact, none of it should. The kid should have fought the monster, created a lifelong mortal enemy, wound up through the portal, stranded in the desert, hid from The Man in Black. Then, The Gunslinger would come along in a small Western style town where Jake was hiding, had everyone turn on him, and killed the whole town.

The Gunslinger’s mule died, meaning he would have to hunt The Man in Black by foot. He had been tracking him carefully over a long period of time, and was in no proximity to the tower.

But, in the movie world, everything needs to be shortened and sweetened. Setting the movie directly beside the Dark Tower got all that pesky travel and plot growth out of the way.

So, I give The Dark Tower three popcorns.